Sagasse.

May there be peace

2011-05-03T01:50:00.000-04:00

in my passing.
a calm in my heart.
a spring in my step, and something to spark
the weathered kindle of hatred
the fire sublime
may everything heal with the passing of time.
-KL, 5/1/11

An announcement.

2010-05-14T12:48:00.000-04:00

I've been experimenting with a vegetarian diet off and on for a year now. For some reason or another up until now I have always wandered my way back to the word of omnivorism. This week, I decided not to wander back. I am vegetarian. Finally.

Regards,
Kris

Why I have negleced to update this.

2010-05-06T01:51:00.000-04:00

In a word, TKD. I am now showing my inner premed. I am publicity chair of TKD, and this semester my grades could be wayyyy better. I am perpetually hosed. I am having money issues. etc. et al.

Blahhhhhhh.

TKD.

2010-03-11T19:15:00.000-05:00

It took me ten+ years, but I finally made it.

Kristina fought an amazing match that was a real breakthrough performance for her. She was very smart with her checks and kicks and kept her head in the game the whole time. She hit her opponent with two very decisive axe kicks that left both her opponent and the onlookers stunned. She broke the match wide open at the start of the second round by garnering a 9-point lead. She stayed aggressive throughout her match to clinch a win for the team.

-Kris

More house-keeping. Or a new house.

2010-02-03T17:56:00.000-05:00

So I started this blog approximately one year and six months ago hoping to document the mental toll that the college admissions process can have on a sixteen-year-old applying to a ridiculous range of long shot schools. Here I am at one of the said schools looking through all of the posts and I am amazed by two things: what has changed and what hasn't.

So, for the record, I will write a new about me section to mark the changes that I have gone through these past eighteen months. My first section can be found here.

My name is Kristina Lynn Lozoya. I am eighteen years old and a second semester freshman at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I plan to major in biological engineering and minor in Chinese. Most days I do my best to balance school work (there's a lot of it here at MIT) with sanity. Most days I succeed, but sometimes I don't. The biggest lesson that I have learned in my short time at MIT is that it is okay to fail and that you will eventually get caught up and be on the same page as everyone else. It's okay to pick one thing, oner person that you absolutely can't live without and concentrate your precious little free time on them, so long as you hit the books for twice as long. So I'm not the best here, but I have grown as a person unlike if I had been anywhere else. No, I am not the best. Yes I can (and do) ignore those who take seven classes per semester plus 345304958230495 extracurricular activities.

Believe me, it took awhile to find my place here, but I finally have. It is taking slow walks along the Charles at night and obsessing over the smallest amount of snow in the East Campus courtyard. It is alongside my teammates, cheering them on in victory and standing by them in defeat while plotting revenge for the heavyweight that kicked my ass on my birthday for the next tournament at West Point. It is hating physics and loving the life sciences, discovering the beauty of the simple logic behind Chinese and pledging to myself that I will learn it one day. It is cursing my professor for assigning long and outrageously hard problem sets, agonizing over a certain problem for a few hours, and then doing a victory dance when I reason through it all. It is looking past the darkness and seeing the light that shines through God's grace and makes this life so freaking beautiful.

My place is right here, thank you sir.

Love, a transfixed, Kris

Wisdom.

2010-02-03T17:15:00.000-05:00

So, the tittle, subtitle, whatever you want to call it, of this blog is wisdom from someone still learning, but looking at the brief and overly emotional content of the last few posts, I feel like that premise of the blog has been a bit lacking. To that point, I will post the greatest bit of advice that I have ever heard. Of course, being a bit mentally narcoleptic, it is embodied in a quote that I read off of my friend's Facebook wall.

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -Nietzche

Take it for what it is. Love it. Embrace it. Run free with reckless abandon. I don't care qhat you do with it. The beauty of tis is that it is yours to do with as you please.

I'm losing it.

2010-01-24T01:16:00.002-05:00

The title says it all.

I swore I thought that MIT would never get to me.

Now I understand.

I'm so so unsure of myself right now.

Someone please help.

The rock of faith.

2010-01-15T00:42:00.000-05:00

Amidst all the devastation in Haiti, I find myself turning to God more often now than ever before. My faith is my rock, my everything. Please pray with me for the victims and their families.

You wonder why you never know.

2010-01-06T23:49:00.000-05:00

You are sitting next to me laughing at some stupid zombie movie while I slave away at a pset, holding my words from you.

Psh. And you wonder why you never know.

An update.

2010-01-06T00:56:00.000-05:00

In parts. Woohoo!

PART ONE: Well, I went um.... Exploring my first night back, and that landed me in MassGen ER not able to loot at my right hand because of the detached soft tissue. Seven hours, one splint and ten stitches later I staggered back to finish my pset strung out on Novacaine and the largest dose of OTC Motrin that I could find. I hobbled through classes and managed to finish my problem set on time. I learned that painkillers make math class infinitely more interesting.

PART TWO: The present. I should be studying right now. I have the fourth and last physics exam of this semester tomorrow morning and I cannot wait to get it over with. I'd rather be writing.

PART THREE: The future. This summer I'm teaching English at a school in southern China. I'll be there for two months and Jacob is coming with me! Yay! :D

PART FOUR: Randomosities: I work now. At the skating rink. It pays incredibly well. I am once again obsessed with Pokemon! Jacob and I have been at it for eight months and one day. The next TKD tourney is at West Point! I am going to ue this IAP to pass physics and math and get my lazy holiday-stuffed arse back into fighting shape. My goal weight is 170. I am currently at 179. Wish me luck!

Best, Kris!!!!!

In closing.

2009-12-24T14:28:00.000-05:00

Wow. What an eventful year this has been. I got into my dream school, met the love of my life, and tested my academic limits. I have lived more in this year than in many years past. The friends and memories that I have made will carry me through these next four years and far beyond.

Here's to the past for what it is worth, the present for what it makes me feel, and the future for what it will be.

Holiday secrets.

2009-12-20T02:30:00.001-05:00

I've read the PostSecret blog for the past four years. Over time, I have kept images of the secrets that I could have written. Here is the most recent set, along with the music video to Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects that first got me interested in this project.

Enjoy,

Kris

I saw you.

2009-12-16T00:42:00.000-05:00

I saw you, falling asleep on my shoulder in the hotel room on Thanksgiving. Your blanket clutched close, you reminded me of the that smiling four-year-ol that I saw in a old picture that you once showed me. "It's juvenile. I should really get rid of it, you once said to me, though I hushed you and pulled you in closer to me, saying that I found it endearing. With a dreamy, half-awake smile, you gave me a kiss on my nose intended for my lips. I smiled, snuggled in closer, and found that spot in the nape of your neck. The spot where we fit like puzzle pieces, where your arms enveloped and protected me from the reaches of the dark, the skeletons n my closet, the ghosts of my past. Slowly drifting in and out of consciouness, the last thing I remember is the soft rise and fall of your chest methodically easing me into sleep.

Such is love.

A question.

2009-12-08T01:50:00.000-05:00

Is love the size of an ocean? Or all of the oceans?

Jacob, you make me think about this daily. Our love knows no bounds. I love not only you, but who I am with you. The fact that you have a wonderful family to support you is amazing. Yes, rght now I sound extremely repetitive, but I assure you it is for the better. I love you more than I ever have any other person that walks this Earth.

Kris

God Bless This Broken Road

2009-12-03T01:17:00.002-05:00

If I know only one thing in this world it is this: God blessed the broken road that lead me straight to you.

I love you dear. Keep strong.

~Kris

Joy.

2009-11-16T01:22:00.000-05:00

So here I am closing out my first semester as an MIT freshman. Weird, considering this blog started as a lame attempt to chronicle my college admissions experience in the form of bad Internet slang and copious amounts of exclamation points upon my acceptance to my dream school. And yet, in these three months I have come to yet another one of those completely sublime moments in life where the sharp lines of perspective fade into pools of gray. Those moments where the person you thought you were melts away into a self-conscious puddle and slinks to the corner of a dark room, waiting patiently to solidify into a new form for you to discover, when those perspective lines shift and everything that you thought you could never stand you do, and all the reckless things your parents warn against become your top priority. It is a time of introspection and rebellion.

And yet at MIT things are different. I am constantly having to study for this, prepare for that, perform here, etc. So many things that my head explodes on occasion. It's quite a spectacle, I promise. Botom line school used to be everything that gave me joy in life. Now, I have found sport martial arts, and continue to have Jacob, to center my existence. If I fail a test, I can talk it over with either to formulate a plan for success the next time around. It is joy because I am balanced.

And wow, this entry makes no sense at all.

An Improvisation.

2009-11-16T01:10:00.000-05:00

I looked for you, felt for you, those raised bumps of smudged blue ink. A dimple for frustration, a hole for rage, a scratch for disaster. My fingers crept upon those sweet lost words the world had never seen, those bits of your sole cast away on a lifeless plane of nothing, a bleak void that trumped all semblance of emotion. And yet, I kept looking, driven forward by hunger and fear of isolation in this cold and unforgiving world.

Lessons.

2009-11-04T18:15:00.000-05:00

I've recently thought a lot about the lessons that I want my children to learn as well as my hopes for them,

I want them to know happiness.

To do no harm.

To flourish.

To explore.

To respect life and its diversity.

To grow into their own.

Thoughts?

Regards,

Kris

To anyone who

2009-11-03T02:27:00.001-05:00

is feeling down in the dumps or lost in their own doldrums, I want you to know the happiness that I have come to know. Whatever you need is out there. Consider yourself now only temporarily blind and learn to see the world in a different way, even if it means feeling every single godddamn inch of this earth prostrate.

Regards,

Kris

Happppeeeee.

2009-10-29T20:03:00.000-04:00

1. I can read Chinese characters.
2. I am going to finish my work before midnight tonight.
3. I know for certain that I will succeed.

Yeah.

The less obvious.

2009-10-10T02:20:00.000-04:00

Her hopes and dreams scattered across the valley, drifting upon dandelion seeds, just as dependent on the over-arching whims of the wind as her mother is on the pills resting in the upstairs bathroom medicine cabinet.

Flash fiction number one.

To all the nay-sayers.

2009-10-02T02:45:00.000-04:00

I made it. Without you to see all of my achievements which are the are the sum of me. I survived against every long odd that life threw at me. I am successful, independent, loved, and accepted. Absolutely nothing can bring me down from this high that I feel. No sir, more experience can only add to it, elevate me to a new drugless high and give me the beauty and ecstasy of being alive. I bet you didn't know that you were losing all of that each time you struck me with fists and words, left me to clean the blood from the wall and cry myself to sleep. I bet you never saw the doctor who who would save lives, the mother who would fight like hell for her kids, the strong and fearless woman that I have become- each time you through me on the floor and beat me down. No sir, you did not.

I am a rock, eroded, scarred, barren. I am the sand in between your toes on some long lost shore- giving, soft, and amorphous, and yielding.

Come find me to be forgiven and to know the love of the daughter you lost so long ago.

In which I attempt to focus.

2009-09-29T23:53:00.000-04:00

So, this is the first time that I would consider myself absolutely hosed. Because of my illness, I took the option of making up my physics exam later this week. I also didn't attend class this week. I also have a four page paper due in three days and a calculus exam to study for before then. And a sore throat and a hacking cough that won't stop bothering me.

Eh. Eh.

Mommy!

So, between now and whenever, I must complete a math pset, a four page paper, and study for physics.

Help me dear God in heaven.

It is 3AM

2009-09-25T02:55:00.000-04:00

And the words are flowing faster than the billions of neurotransmitters across the synaptic gaps of my right brain. Or something like that.

Note to self: I am not failing MIT as hard as I thought I would. In fact, I am doing spectacularly well. My 18.01A problem set (homework) (Calculus I accelerated for the non-MIT folk), was a high A. Same for 7.012 (biology). I got an A on my Chinese exam. (by the way, I got a Chinese name (Luó Yún)), and my first globalization was a B/A. So, not bad. My physics pset was a D+, but I left it incomplete.

And now I have to sleep and not fail my biology exam tomorrow.

Regards,
Kristina

And so the torch is passed.

2009-09-20T17:10:00.000-04:00

Hello Francesca,

Sorry for the delay in this response. My schedule has been really hectic and I wanted to give this some proper attention. It's wonderful to hear that someone from South is considering MIT. Indeed I am a freshman here and I absolutely love it. I would love to give you any advice and information you need in order to succeed.

So, I learned of MIT's existence when Dr. Culpepper handed me the application for the MITES program. I applied, and I was at first wait-listed and then accepted. That summer was the most meaningful and extraordinarily challenging of my entire life, but through it, I realized that I could never be happy anywhere else. Thus, I applied to MIT early action and was deferred to the regular action round. I was accepted March 14th, 2009, and from there, the rest is history. I am currently a freshman hoping to major in Course 20 (everything is a number here), biological engineering. My current classes represent what the Institute considers a survey of the topics needed for all majors at MIT. I am currently taking biology, physics, multivariable calculus, globalization, and Chinese. In the spring, I hope to be taking physics II, chemistry, Chinese II, and differential equations. Between classes and homework, I am a member of the sport taekwondo team, marching band, and MedLinks.

So I guess I'll start with the questions you presented me with.

As far as the admissions process, you are already way ahead of the game. You're doing research, which is good. I urge you to make a list of things you want from your college and to not be swayed by the flashy propaganda that many institutions will throw at you. The admissions process can be stressful, so just keep a level head and be yourself as much as possible. Make your voice jump from the page and don't be afraid to write of all that I am sure you have done. Find your passion (which I believe to be theater) and don't be afraid to let that be who you are. I was active in the marching band for all four years in high school, and while I did other clubs off and on throughout that time, the thing I think that made my application strong was my consistent dedication to music. It's not the amount of clubs you join, but how committed you are to those that you have already joined. Bottom line: Whatever you do, do it with all your heart and write about it in your application.

That advice is pretty much universal for whichever college you apply to.

In regards to the MITES summer program, yes, it is true that it is mainly for minorities, but it is also geared towards people who might not have had a great background in subjects fundamental to engineering. There are white people who have gone and done well in the program. I encourage you to apply. For more information regarding MITES, visit http://web.mit.edu/mites/. Also, keep in mind that MITES isn't the only program available for high school students. There is also the Women's Technology program, which meets at teh same time as MITES and teaches curricula in mechanical and electrical engineering. To find out more, visit wtp.mit.edu. There is also the Research Science Institute, in which participants work closely with MIT faculty to research a particular topic of interest and write a paper to present at the end of the program. For more information, visit http://www.cee.org/programs/rsi.

MIT isn't the only university that offers such summer programs. I am aware that UF hosts a short one over the summer. Other schools like Cornell and Harvard also have very well known and similar programs in engineering and the sciences. I encourage you to continue your research as I am sure you have been.

For more information on what MIT is like from a variety of perspectives, visit www.mitadmissions.org. There you can view blogs maintained by current students of day-to-day happenings that are conveniently categorized. They range from advice on the application to research opportunities at MIT. Also, older blogs from MIT alumni dating back to 2004 are available in the archives.

I know that this is a lot of information to process, but this is only the beginning of a long process of finding colleges and deciding where you be happy come graduation. I am honored that you chose MIT, and I wish you the best of luck in your applications process next year. Check out the websites I gave you! They have more information than I could ever give.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me at (954) 319-0038 and consult the bevy of websites that I gave you. It would be so awesome to have another Paladin join the MIT ranks.

Again, best of luck.

Kristina Lozoya
MIT 2013
klozoya@mit.edu
(954) 319-0038

Who am I? Who I am.

2009-09-02T15:37:00.000-04:00

I'm a freshman at MIT, what I believe to be the best school in existence. I'm excitable and passionate. I fight for what I believe in. I am a musician, activist, martial artist, and believer. I pray to a God that I see evidence for. I am a Democrat, a thinker, a despiser of fire alarms. I am half white, half Mexican, and bi-lingual. I am a survivor of domestic violence and consequently an advocate for its end. I am the daughter of a high school drop out and the most educated woman that I know. I am a crossroads, a climax, a beginning.

I am... so much more than these words could ever portray.

These enries are back-logged.

2009-08-20T23:04:00.000-04:00

This is my third day in Boston. At least, I think it is. I haven't really checked the calendar since I got here. I've just been overwhelmed by the fact that I won't be going home for a few months. I mean December? Geez. I never thought that I would miss South Florida so much.

Though overwhelmed, in my three days here, I've learned a few things along the way.

1. Hotel shuttles are incredibly unreliable. They tell you a fifteen minute wait and it is really more like fifty.

2. Subways are incredibly efficient. It takes me about fifteen minutes to get from Chelsea (where my hotel is) to MIT (where my incredibly awesome dorm room is).

3. Boston is amazing.

The MIT Blogger Application

2009-08-18T01:51:00.000-04:00

\
Biographical stuff

Tell us your major, or (for freshmen) possibilities of your major. 

I plan on majoring in Course 7 or Course 20 with a focus on premedical studies.

Tell us what activities hope to become involved with at MIT, or (for upperclassmen) what you're currently involved with on campus. 

While at MIT, I want to continue pursuing some life-long hobbies in addition to picking up some new ones. I have been assigned to the FASAP advising seminar. I plan on playing the clarinet for the MIT Marching Band as well as joining the sport taekwondo team. I am also interested in joining the Alpha Phi Omega service fraternity. In my later years, I see myself doing a UROP at the Broad Institute, joining D-Lab, or studying abroad with MISTI in China.

Let us know your living group. For freshmen, tell us which dorm you've been temped in. For upperclassmen, tell us where you live, and, if applicable, any FSILG affiliations.

I have been temped in East Campus.

Short Answer Essays (complete both)

Short answer #1 - In a paragraph or two, describe why you want to be an admissions blogger and what unique things you feel you'll contribute to the program. 

I want to become an admissions blogger because I want prospective applicants to know that it is never too late to believe yourself and live out a dream. I first became aware of MIT during the summer of 2008 at he MITES program, which was by far the most engaging and intense academic experience of my life. Up until then, I had aspired to little more than the community college nearby. MIT opened my eyes to an entirely new world of a thriving social and academic environment. It was IHTFP, in the best way possible.

As an admissions blogger, I have the unique quality of having been through one of MIT's great summer programs. My first experience with MIT wasn't through a post card or the Internet, but firsthand, live, in color and in person. I enjoy taking odd bits from my life and writing about them in ways that people don't expect. MIT is the perfect place to do that, a proverbial playground for anyone willing to look close enough.

Short answer #2 - In either a video or a written post with photos, introduce us to a part of your life, house, town, etc. that you find wildly interesting.

Wildly interesting, eh. *Devilish grin*

I used to think that the most interesting thing in my life was the fact that I had gotten into MIT, and I had almost considered that topic for this post, but after reading the first part of this sentence over again, I realized how utterly pathetic that was.No, it's not the fact that I got in, for that is long past. It is the people that I have met in the process, the people that I will call my peers for the next four years. They are a part of my present and future.

And so I present the following photos and their accounts, the people that have shaped my MIT experience thus far.

The Past.

Aaron Ramirez '10. TA for the Engineering Design class at MITES where we had to build robots that simulated the functions of beavers. I started the class with zero machining experience, barely able to tell the difference between a hammer and a band saw (okay, maybe I wasn't that bad...) And yet, on the final night before the final competition, he had me soldering wires like there was no tomorrow (and really, there wasn't).

The Present.

Throughout the summer, I got together frequently with MITES friend and MIT 13er Alexandra Sailsman to relieve boredom and satisfy my sweet tooth while dancing to techno music. The result:

Delicious MIT lettering of the edible, delectable, and sugary type, laughter and these photos.

The Future.

As I stare down 77 Mass Ave for the first time tomorrow, I realize how far I have come in this past year- from a doubting prospect into a slightly more confident undergraduate. The people that I have met are the beginnings of the network of friends that I will have for years to come and the foundation for an amazing four years.

I'm smiling now and I could not be happier.

*Images have been linked because Blogger's image uploader has stopped responding.

MIT Schedule

2009-07-28T17:06:00.001-04:00

Using picker.mit.edu

Courses are as follows:

Chinese I, Regular
Principles of Chemical Science
Multivariable Calculus
Physics I

You can check out the schedule here

MIT Scavenger Hunt Update

2009-07-08T20:23:00.000-04:00

So a few posts ago I thought I would try my hand at the MIT Photo Scavenger Hunt. As usual, I missed the deadline because the thought of scouring my massive iPhoto library was extremely unappealing. I checked back for the contest results and needless to say, I was disappointed by the lack of turnout. My photos could have been posted for all to see. Some prefrosh could have been inspired. Ah well. Here they are, for the enjoyment of my (hopefully) nonzero audience. So back at MITES, we had this awesome Engineering Design TA named Aaron Ramirez, who placed third in the 2.007 design competition. Because he did so well, he was sent to an international competition in Brazil. Before he left to share the glory of that's-what-she-said jokes with South America, a few of my friends and I decided to give him a rousing send-off, complete with cake purchased from Laverde's and the "Are You a Geek?" quiz book from the COOP. Are you a geek, Aaron?
the Edgerton Center @ MIT. Founded by MIT professor and alumni, the lab served as the setting in which we overly-caffeinated pre-pre-frosh designed machines in accordance with the 2.007 Da (yes) MIT challenge.
MITES 2008 changed my life. The fact that 66 amazing kids came together, made friends, and learned demonstrates the clear superiority of the 'tvte. The dynamic that we had beats all.
CSAIL at CPW. I'm staring in wonder at a mechanical bird. That same bird eventually crash-landed on my head in a later demonstration.
And of course, a beaver in the wild, sporting the latest in nerdy fashion. It may or may not be on my bed.

59 days.

2009-06-19T03:27:00.000-04:00

Here I sit, at 3:27 AM, with no regular circadian rhythm in sight. Fail.

If this were any other summer, I would happily be stuffing my face with junk food and playing Harvest Moon 64 (old-school ftw). But, this isn't just an ordinary summer. In approximately two months (though in my semi-conscious state of mind I typed days. I wish. ) I will be packing my life into two suitcases and an indeterminate amount of boxes to fly 1700 miles north to Cambridge. When I land, I will officially be a college student, which in and of itself is a scary proposition. But not only will I be a college student. I'm going to be an MIT student, subject to ridiculous sleep schedules, painful amounts of work, and... the best undergraduate experience in the history of undergraduate experiences.

In my vast amounts of free time in this last of summers, in between Facebook updates, the latest episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender on hulu, blog updating, and general unproductivity, I'm beginning to realize (if I haven't already) that I need to cherish these last few days of freedom. In 59 days, I am an MIT freshman and I will have to work my butt off to keep myself from getting overwhelmed.

59 days. 59 days.

*Edit: Like my previous post, this was written a few days ago. The countdown is now down to (redundancy) and 53 more days.>

A Homecoming.

2009-06-16T22:42:00.001-04:00

I held you and I knew what it was to be loved. Welcome home, Jacob. :)

The MIT Photo Scavenger Hunt

2009-06-15T19:02:00.000-04:00

Finally, something more productive, or at least more directed than my usual summer laze.

THE WORLD'S LARGEST PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT!*

So, grab your cameras everyone because here's your (MIT themed) list. Points are of course awarded for both awesomeness of photo, and originality. Open to everyone, do it by yourself, do it with others, but most importantly have fun:

-The most creative use of objects to spell MIT
-A beaver.
-The nerdiest/coolest thing you can find
-The largest variety of energy drinks
-A magnetic monopole
-A large amount of caffeine
-A company or organization founded by an MIT alum
-A picture of a big accomplishment in a video game.
-An awesome lab
-A picture you feel best embodies the phrase "FAIL"
-A brass rat in the wild!
-A new (still shrink wrapped) copy of: Iron Man, 21, Goodwill Hunting, and the Back to the Future trilogy (just because it's my favorite)
-One photo that upon looking at it demonstrates the clear superiority of MIT amongst other institutions of higher learning.

Don't hurt yourself, and send pictures to me with the subject line "Photo Scavenger Hunt", this is important for my filter and my sanity. I'll give you a week from today to mail them in, and I'll post the results next Friday. Get snapping!

*I have no way of validating this claim

This was taken from Chris M.'s blog on the MIT admissions webpage. I think I have most of this stuff at home, except the large array of sports drinks. For that, I'll go to the gym. The brass rat in the wild thing puzzles me. I'll have to think about it. That last one should be fun though :)

A first.

2009-06-14T05:55:00.000-04:00

/**
* The HelloWorldApp class implements an application that
* simply prints "Hello World!" to standard output.
*/
class HelloWorldApp
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
int i = 10;
for(i = 0; i < 10; i = i + 1)
{
System.out.println("Hello Kris!" + (Math.pow(i,2))); // Display the string.
System.out.println("Gustavo is a loser :)" + (Math.asin(Math.PI))); // Display the string.

if( i%2 == 0 )
{
// do this if CONDITION is true
System.out.println( "The number : " + i + "is even.");
}
else
{
//do this if CONDITION is false
System.out.println( "The number : " + i + "is odd.");
}
}
}
}

Well, it's not the solution to the P =NP problem, but thi is a Millenium Prize in and of itself. I can finally code.

What my advisor knows.

2009-06-12T19:26:00.000-04:00

So I erroneously thought that I didn't need to submit my advising preferences for freshman year. I turned out to be wrong, but I still managed to submit a brief personal statement. This is all that my advisor knows about me.

I'm interested most in what I don't know, which is a lot. My interests lay in the biological sciences and their applications, specifically genetics. I love martial arts and lacrosse, the two sports I believe to be the greatest things since sliced bread. In my spare time, I enjoy playing the clarinet and watching documentaries. Upon graduation from MIT, I'd like to go to medical school and study under the HST Department to earn a joint MD-PhD and spend my life as a physician scientist. I know this is going to be a lot of work, and that my lack of exposure to physics and chemistry will sometimes be a burden, but I am willing to work hard to make my dreams a reality.

I hope it's enough.

Wise words.

2009-06-09T13:30:00.000-04:00

Like you I too have lost my family and my home to a bloody war but I am fascinated by what remains, what endures.

A Significant Update.

2009-06-03T21:35:00.001-04:00

Okay, so this might seem silly, considering it isn't much of an update to my most frequent reader. To all of those who read this occasionally, yay for you, you get to learn more about my personal life.

Entonces, ya, tengo un novio. For all of you non-Spanish-speakers, I have a boyfriend, Jacob, who I met way back from MITES. He's currently on exchange in Ecuador and will be arriving at Miami International Airport in 13 days. Not like I've been counting...

Also, more insidious updates! I graduated and thus bear no formal ties or allegiances to the hilariously ridiculous Florida public school system! Yay! Also, because of said graduation, I now own a MacBook, which makes this silly little blog look ridiculously good in Safari. Unfortunately, my Internet connection will not be up and running until the bill is paid this coming Monday. Until then, I will be (read: have been) mooching off of the free high-speed Wi Fi at the local Panera Bread and Grill.

That's it for now. E-mail me with any concerns, questions, thoughts, or invites for free food. The latter is always appreciated. :)

Late night lists.

2009-05-18T01:30:00.000-04:00

This is a list for my own benefit. Ignore it.

Internships
Jobs
OCW courses
BC Courses
BVS courses
Computer Science
Chemistry
Physics
Barnes and Noble
Studying
Working out
Reading
The Last Lecture
Randy Pausch
Stephen Hawking
Robotics
MIT paperwork
Dermatologist
Cleaning
Consolidating
Praying
More consolidating
Loving
Laughing
Living

In which I plead.

2009-05-10T23:27:00.000-04:00

So this is my essay for Interphase, the summer program for admitted MIT students who will be starting class in the fall of 2009. Thank you to Jacob for revising it and to Nathan and Alex for their feedback and encouragement.

Interphase Essay
Last year, when I was accepted into the MITES 2008 class, I lost my breath I lost my breath again when I found out that I had been accepted to MIT. Now, I’m breathless at the very thought of how intense MIT’s workload is going to be. And while it is true that I gained a lot from the MITES program, I remember struggling to keep up in my biochemistry and physics classes because I had absolutely no prior chemistry and physics background. The courses offered at my school were of poor quality or not offered at all. As I start with a clean slate at MIT, I do not want to fall behind again. I understand that no one knows everything to expect from such a demanding curriculum, but I know that completing Interphase will give me an edge.
During the actual Interphase program, I will establish a solid foundation in Newtonian physics and chemistry, as well as refine my own study skills so that in instances where my current skill set is not up to par, I will have the confidence to know that I can accomplish what needs to be done. This will be an invaluable skill set that will allow me to flourish at MIT as I pursue a degree in biological engineering. After I graduate, I will to go to medical school and obtain an MD. My career plans include medical research in the area of pediatric oncology and a year abroad with the Doctors Without Borders program, an organization that provides free medical care to Third World countries.
My biggest motivation for these aspirations is the fact that I love helping people. The doctor-patient relationship epitomizes this. Through such close intrapersonal relationships, the world can be changed one person at a time. From what I suffered at the hands of my father, I have developed an ability to relate to the underdog, to the and the oppressed and suffering. I want to channel this empathy into an effort bigger than myself, for the greater good.
But, in order to accomplish these goals, I need to get through Interphase first. I believe that I will be a strong member of the Interphase 2009 class because I have overcome many obstacles to get where I am today. I am a survivor of twelve years domestic abuse at the hands of my father, and I do not say that lightly. I have had to depend on myself for a lot of things and I know that I have the resiliency and tenacity to make up for any knowledge that I may lack. I never stop learning, I never stop dreaming and I know that Interphase will be the perfect outlet for this insatiable appetite.
As I sit and write this essay, I hope that what I have said will be enough. Know this: I put my heart into everything I do. Be it the martial arts I have pursued my entire life or just trying to cram my views of the world into a blog entry, the world fascinates me and I want to learn so much more from it. Interphase is only the beginning of the my greatest journey yet.

Lo que aprendi.

2009-05-05T20:48:00.000-04:00

Consider graphs of polar coordinates, or at least the conversion of rectangular coordinates to polar coordinates. After all is said and done, there are two different polar representations of one rectangular coordinate. Literally two different angles, two different ways of looking at a common thing.

And the above is how I'm starting to view quite a few things in life. But it's not the same as the same as the thick and rigid lines drawn by math, though ironically enough I chose a mathematical analogy to explain this. It's more of an out-of-focus lens, a fish eye lens. Somewhere, the lines are starting to become a bit hazy on what I once thought were concrete issues. I can't draw the line between friendship and more. I walk the line between love and hate, between self-confidence and doubt.

It's like a seismic shift in slow motion. I mean, if earthquakes ever occurred in slow motion, that would be a valid analogy. As it stands, my world is starting to turn and that's okay. I'm excited to see what's beyond this horizon because, with everything I have learned, I know that I'll be okay.

And with you by my side, all the better.

Carry all of your thoughts.

2009-05-03T10:29:00.001-04:00

It's been while since I've had a post of substance. Consider the slump broken.

As it stands, as soon as I finish my AP Art History Exam, I am a free woman. I have three weeks of school left, all of which are chock full of lovely exams. I'm a bit blase (pretend there's an accent grave there...) on studying. Even if I do get 5s, the only one that is going to count is Calculus BC. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint my teachers with getting anything less. Decisions. Decisions...

Speaking of decisions (oh I know that was a really weak transition. Please give me some of your amazingness, Jacob!), decision day has come and gone. I sent in the reply form awhile back. I'm officially an MIT Engineer :)

Over the past few posts, I have been trying to reconcile my feelings about whether or not I made the right decision. For me, it's absolutely clear that I did. I could not imagine myself anywhere else. Apart from this, I am just itching to get out of South Florida and back to Cambridge. I have about four months until this can happen and I am trying and failing to decide what to do with my summer.

Option 1: Interphase. This would sole the problem of being in South Florida because I would leave in early June and stay until early August. At this point, my happiness is directly proportional to the amount of time I spend in Cambridge and inversely so to the amount of time I spend in Forida . The downside is that the program relies entirely upon application. Also, the program is almost identical to MITES, easier as far as I have heard. I question whether doing it would be productive or beneficial.

Option 2: An internship. This option is looking very nice. However, after 30 minutes of perusing fastweb.com without any luck, I have decided to put things on hold. I can always look at other connections. Mr. Friedman or Mrs. Krauss might have something for me.

Option 3: Stay home. Of course this is the most economical of all the options, assuming the internship is unpaid. And it is perhaps the most advantageous. I'll have a lot of time to build friendships with my MITES buddies and those I met at CPW. I'll also be free to get a job and earn some cash (perhaps continue the tutoring stint I have now, expand it. *grins deviously at the thought of unabashed capitalism*) I'll also have time to commit to serious study o MIT's OCW lectures in multivariable calculus and physics. In order for MIT to not completely kick my ass, I'll need more preparation than what I currently have.

So many decisions and conflicted feelings.

But, as Hosseini assures his audience in The Kite Runner, There is a way to be good again.

Notes from a second semester senior.

2009-04-23T09:30:00.001-04:00

A copy of my senior reflective paper over the course of my senior year. Comments? Thoughts? I always enjoy feedback.

On a completely random note, I'm in botany class now and I smell gardenias. Sadder than that, I can name the family of gardenias... Meh. I need a break from this!

Notes from a Native Plant Observer

I've often tried to imagine a world without science, without discovery, without wonder and I have news for anyone else who tries. It doesn't work. Science is inextricably intertwined with the human condition. We are built to wander and explore, to question authority, but don't tell any teenagers about that. Of course, having come to that conclusion myself,. I chose to do this with my senior project, a field phenology study done on the I. cassine aimed at discovering growth trends during the wet and dry season, with this premise in mind. In addition to this notion of discovery, I thought that my senior project would compliment my scientific aspirations nicely. The summer before I started this project, I completed an intensive summer program at MIT that covered advanced classes in biochemistry, physics, deterministic, design, the humanities, and multivariable calculus. Fresh off of this insane roller coaster ride that was MIT, I wanted a project that would mimic the research component of my college education. With the help of my mentor, Mrs. Pam Krauss, I was able to locate an option in the Fairchild Challenge, a multidisciplinary environmental competition containing options ranging from theater to research projects, that allowed me the freedom to construct an entire study from scratch. With the appeal of discovery at hand, I was ready to proceed.

The aforementioned mentor helped guide me along the path of discovery. With a master's degree in botanical science and years of field work as an environmental lawyer, her hands on experience was invaluable in learning which resources to consult as well as in figuring out which plant to study. She also helped me devise the steps in completing the project. First, a general survey of all the native plants on campus was taken and the results were analyzed based on location, accessibility, bloom time, and practicality. Ultimately, the dahoon holly was found to be the best of all the plants surveyed. Additional research was done regarding the plant and the study was constructed. Observations began immediately on a stand of nine dahoons outside of the botany classroom. It was hypothesized that because they were maintained by humans, their growth patterns would differ from those of wild dahoons. The factors used to determine this were percent flowering and percent fruit maturation. Data was collected from September to January and analyzed. More specific information is available in the paper. The hypothesis was supported. Wait, yes, I just said that. I just concluded months of editing and slaving over numbers. To see one's blood sweat and tears culminate into a polished and finished product is wonderful. In doing this project, I have learned how to step back and breathe when the work seems to be too much and to take my time when something seems like it is going to give.

All in all, I have grown not only as a researcher and scientist, but also as a person, and that was surprising. Prior to this insane but rewarding experience, I had always thought of the results of the scientific method as implicit and tangible, but never philosophical. Never did I consider that I could gain patience and insight into my own character while number crunching and squinting at dried dahoon specimens under microscopes. Don't get me wrong- science has been and always will be a huge part of my life. It got me to where I am going in the fall and gives me an insatiable thirst for knowledge that I can never seem to quench. This study changed that a bit. Now I can step back and wax philosophical in the most tense and dry of settings. It's a wonderful skill that I hope to keep for the rest of my life.

In fact, if I had to change one thing about this study, it wouldn't be a technical issue; those resolved themselves in the end. I would take my time and not think of the study as just another thing to be done. Too often I can only appreciate things when they are gone and the same thing goes for this study. Yes, I actually got used to observing the plants once a week. Like a mother hen, I watched my “chicks” grow and flourish. Midway through the study, my advisor called one of my trees “pathetic” and I immediately defended it. Okay, so that might have been bordering on obsessive, but the point is obvious. Within the limits of the scientific, I found myself.

As far as making any future projects successful and meaningful, all I have to say is this: be yourself and do what you love. There is no sense in trying to cure cancer or slaving away at a technical project when you are an artist at heart. The beauty of this project is that one has the ability to choose whatever one wants. Take that and run with it. As Mark Twain most eloquently put it, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

This is why this paper contains no facts or figures. Those are dealt with later. Rather, it contains a part of me that I am giving to the magnet program. I did what I loved. I put my heart into this project. In this way, the magnet program has benefited. They can say that they have a dedicated alum. Or if not, they can remember my name in the years to come and say, “Oh yeah, the girl who went to MIT, the one who looked at trees.”

The truth is, I can think of no higher compliment than that.

Nothing could be better.

2009-04-22T19:01:00.000-04:00

I promise you'll never be alone. Never again. Ever. I promise.

Don't let go.

I'm going home.

2009-04-11T17:28:00.000-04:00

To the place where I belong.

It just hit me--MIT in less than five days <3

And God, if anywhere on this Earth I could be happier, tell me. For now, this is home

Infinitely many solutions.

2009-04-11T17:12:00.000-04:00

My posts have been negligible; I've had other things on my mind. Right now, however, I am trying to find every excuse possible to avoid my massive AP Art History outline and senior project display.

So, updates. Yes, I am going to MIT. I can't see myself anywhere else. In fact, today was the day of the gathering I organized for admitted students in the area. We had a nice humber of students show up, and I got to see Alex and Paula again (third time over break). All is right with that octant of my world.

Presently, I am staring at a study guide eight pages long concerning painting, sculpture, and photography of the 19th century. Think Neoclassicism through Art Nouveau. For the first time, I realize that I could honestly care less about this aspect of the humanities. I hate the memorization that is so essential to passing the courses. I'd rather look at a piece of art and appreciate it, experience the human condition (insert cliche here). Instead of filling out said outline, I am on my third lecture in MIT's OCW series on 18.02, Multivariable Calculus.

I'm winding down break now; the projects are done, the selfs discovered, the allusions made. Right now, I'm going to go finish so I have some measure of free time available on Sunday for oh, a little church.

A theory on relativity.

2009-04-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

This is ridiculously appropriate.

http://xkcd.com/55/

And ,of course, all content is copyright xkcd.com 2009.

The sum of all things.

2009-03-27T09:53:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to write this entry for awhile- a lot has changed since my last entry. But, as always, and even now as I count down the days to when I can call myself a frosh at MIT, I have been hosed. The important thing is that I'm writing now, right?

Well, first things first. The one huge thing that has been keeping me away from blogging is finishing my senior project, a field phenology study of the Ilex cassine. Translation: I watch trees grow. It may not seem like the most enjoyable thing, but for myself, the consummate biology nerd, it is bliss.

Also, as of Thursday, my high school lacrosse career has officially ended. The team decided to forgo the last two games and pull out of districts since so many of them were injured. I am extremely happy that there is finally less stress in my life now I can finally go home before 5PM. I'll still be playing in Weston for a tournament team on Saturdays and I am even considering switching back to midfield (goalie can get pretty irksome). Moving on.

*Edit: This was originally written some time in early April. I just never got around to finishing it. Ah well, as it says, moving on.*

There is hope, and excitement, and wonder.

2009-03-18T16:59:00.000-04:00

Indeed the weight of decision-making has started to set in. Though things depend on the bottom line, I have confidence in the fact that MIT will follow through on it's commitment to it's prospective committed students.

Another important factor, however, is the workload. Matt '00 posted a blog for admitted students. Within the archived comments, I saw that a debate on "Why MIT" broke out concerning how much stress MIT actually is. I wrote a response, which has been reproduced below:

MIT's outrageous workload is one of the biggest factors in determining where I will ultimately spend the next four years of my life. Having gone through MITES, I know what it is like to pull several all-nighters in one week, sometimes two in a row, to have p-set after p-set rain down upon an extremely sleep-deprived brain. There were times during MITES where I wanted to pack up and go home. At the end of the program, however, I found that I had grown immensely as a person. I know that the workload will be hard. Last summer taught me that. But what I also know is that I am better for having gone through that, and that I cannot wait to spend the next four years of my life there.

Just my two cents. Hope that helps.

Again, to my readers, I hope that helps. Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to catch a few Zs. I am extremely sleep deprived.

-Kristina'13

Epiphany.

2009-03-16T23:23:00.000-04:00

I was doing what any MIT admit would do- scour the admissions blogs for any single scrap of information that would aid me on my quest to relieve my soon-to-be-empty wallet. Then it hit me.

Those walls, that dome, those hacks, all seemed familiar, like an old friend. Suddenly, a flood of MITES memories came back to me- walking around the Charles, never being able to find biochem in Building 22, meeting Eric Lander, complaining about MacGregor food and stuffing my face anyway. Every single moment made me realize something wonderful. MIT chose me for a reason. I will not let anything stop me. In September, I'll finally be going home.

part deux

2009-03-15T00:13:00.000-04:00

MIT OFFICE OF ADMISSIONS

Dear Kristina,

On behalf of the Admissions Committee, it is my pleasure to offer you admission to the MIT Class of 2013. You stood out as one of the most talented and promising students in the most competitive applicant pool in the history of the Institute. Your commitment to personal excellence and principled goals has convinced us that you will both contribute to our diverse community and thrive within our academic environment. We think that you and MIT are a great match.

You’ll likely have offers of admission from many fine schools, but we hope that you’ll choose to enroll at MIT. You have until May 1, 2009 to let us know if you’ll call MIT home for the next four years – please visit your MyMIT account to complete our official Reply Form. Until then, we look forward to building our relationship with you and to helping you to get to know us better. In the coming weeks, we’ll be in touch via phone, email, and web.

Many of our students believe that the campus visit experience was the deciding factor in their choice to enroll at MIT. Therefore, we hope you will be our guest at Campus Preview Weekend (CPW), held on the MIT campus from Thursday, April 16 through Sunday, April 19. CPW is an excellent way to experience MIT student life firsthand. You’ll go to classes, eat lots of food, join hallway conversations, and meet your future classmates. We encourage your parents to attend as well – please see the enclosed CPW invitation for details.

If you can’t come to CPW, please try to visit campus before May 1. To make arrangements to stay overnight with an undergraduate host, simply complete the online request form in your MyMIT account. If you are unable to visit campus but eager to get to know MIT, you’ll have the chance to speak with a current undergraduate soon – an MIT student will be calling you in April.

And now for the requisite fine print – I must remind you that this offer of admission is contingent upon your completing the school year with flying colors. Have fun with the rest of your senior year, but please keep your grades up!

I hope you’ll agree with us that MIT is the perfect place to prepare for your future. As a member of our community, you’ll join builders, scholars, entrepreneurs, and humanitarians. Together, you will make all the difference in a world that desperately needs you.

Many congratulations, and once again, welcome to MIT! Now stop reading this and go celebrate. :-)

Sincerely,

Stuart Schmill
Dean of Admissions

P.S. Don't forget to visit the Campus Preview Weekend web site to begin making your travel plans!

These words changed my life. To the person that put me from the maybe to the yes pile, thank you so so much.

3/14/09.

2009-03-14T22:06:00.001-04:00

And this too shall pass.

Into four years of heaven and hell.
Regardless.
I
GOT
IN!!!!!!!
MIT 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I could have one thing

2009-03-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

it would be you.

Tangents

2009-03-12T23:45:00.000-04:00

Good news: I am now officially training again. Every Thursday, with some of my old friends in a studio down the street from my house. I came home today with muscles I never even knew I had and even though I have to clean, I'm keeping myself horizontal for my own benefit. It reminded m of what i absolutely love about martial arts: the endurance, the giving everything I got, the people, the adrenaline, and just the good, comfortable feeling my body gets. I have been doing it for sooooo long now. Thirteen years. There has to be something said for that. It's taught me discipline and self-respect, to never ever give up.I'll keep it simple: it's my crack.

I've recently gotten into Bollywood-esque music. I think it's wonderful and energetic and crazy and just the right thing for a run.

Speaking of which, I'm starting a training regimen. Bike at least one mile a day after lacrosse, martial arts on Thursdays, and running at least twicee a week provided that my ankles are in good shape.

Oh this entry is tangental. I am writing it spastically as I find gaps, or try to find gaps in my workload. Still have to come up with some eco-geeks shirt designs and not freak about MIT.

Speaking of which, decisions come out in two days. Presently, I would honestly rather not know. My fate has already been decided. At best, I have a hard decision to make between MIT and WPI. At worst, I get rejected and move on. Why is the worst option sounding the most appealing to me right now???? Bahh no good.\

Must clean. Linger entry and pics of room later.

You spin my head right round.

2009-03-08T20:53:00.000-04:00

When you go down.

When you go down down.

As these days count down, go flying by, I cannot help but wonder where I'm going to end up in August or September of this year. Will I be changing the world at MIT, doing the same at WPI, freezing my rear off in Chicago? The truth is, for the first time in my life, I have absolutely no idea. And that scares me.

I have six days left of enduring this ambiguous state of mind. To figure things out.
And six months to wonder about where I will be.

The Great Escape.

2009-03-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

I so wish that you were reading this right now.

I want to tell you something and I don't know how.

Clarks.

2009-03-04T22:09:00.000-05:00

I'm proud of myself. I found my dress and my dateall within the spanof a few days. Not only thst, but I asked my date myself. Sadie Hawkins style.

I feel powerful for a change.

And I am sooooo excited for prom!

Harvest time.

2009-03-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

J'ai un secret.

Okay, I lied. I have too many secrets. All were taken from PostSecret, all hosted on Photobucket for over three years. It's been a unique outlet for pain and reflection for me; it keeps me incredibly stable like nothing else ever could.

So, here are all of my secrets from the past three years. They represent my ambitions, my fears, my past, my present, and my future. Thank you to those courageous individuals who had the conviction to face their secret on a postcard and share it with themselves and the world.

It's never too late.

In which I postulate.

2009-03-01T18:02:00.000-05:00

Math is absolutely friggin' beautiful.

Proof: The work of Julia Wolf. of Stephen Hawking.

of reason. of rhyme. of the ephemeral nature of time.

2009-03-01T00:45:00.000-05:00

I can't write much, but I feel like I have to. Good news. If and when I go to WPI, I shall have a roommate, as per an agreement made half-asleep, half-spazzing mood with Katie. I also found a prom dress. Not just any prom dress, THE prom dress.

Pictures later, or else it didn't happen. I just need to find my camera charger...

Speaking of finding things, I need to go and find myself. It's like I'm on soma holiday or some Huxley-esque stuff like that.

Plans for the summer: get a job, get in shape, get a life, take a few courses at BC, and no regrets. Pura vida.

In which I write.

2009-02-26T02:44:00.000-05:00

Hair in pig tails and eyes wandering.
Sepia tones of innocence
Awash with happiness and passion,
and a certain naievite.

A six year old's grin.
Gray and white on a summer day.
She turns to the horizon
with an errant and curious gaze.

One day she'll learn,
To color the sky.
Her dreams a bright
shade of magenta
Her thoughts reflected
on the sparkle of the sea.
Her hope on the wings of
Prayer.
Her life in God's hands.

And still,
the little pioneer surges forward,
Undetered by the wind
or the waves or the
ebb
and
flow
of the tide of life.

In which I believe.

2009-02-22T22:43:00.001-05:00

So this is my Apostolic Creed.

I believe that I will change the world one day.

I believe in miracles.

-in world peace.

-in the power of the human spirit.

-in true love.

-in dualism.

-in God.

-in a better life in the years to come.

-in the universality of happiness.

-in environmentalism.

-in optimism.

-in giving it all even when I have nothing.

I just hope this list grows longer, and that my hope grows linger than this list.

In which I decide.

2009-02-21T19:29:00.000-05:00

Today was wonderful. I had a great lax (common abbreviation for "lacrosse" for those who don't know) practice which consisted of exactly 30 seconds in goal and thirty minutes talking about college.

Wait. Oh man. I just said college. That thing that I leave for in less than six months. That thing that constantly crosses my mind and never offers a comprehensive solution.

Until now.

So, last week I received a completely unexpected letter from Worcester Polytechnic, a small (read 3,009 undergraduates) technical school in Massachussetts. I had known that I had had gotten in, so I wasn't sure wha to expect when opening the letter. I opened it and nearly fell backwards- a full tuition ride. $37,000 a year. I had to count the zeroes. Me. Paid in full to a great engineering school, the sole recipient of said scholarship, able to graduate debt free and attend a wonderful graduate or medical school able to afford it. Pinch me, I'm actually not dreaming.

So, I told my mom and gradmother, the latter of whom nearly had a heart attack. They were ecstatic, an pretty much counting on me going there. When I got my acceptance fro UFand proceceded to do the housing paperwork, I found out that they wanted a response before March 4th. Not happenening, so I'm not going there. So, WPI it is, barring an acceptance and totally awesome aid package from MIT or UChi.

I'm happy, I've decided, and I can't wait for these next four years.

This pretty much sums it up.

2009-02-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

lexterthegreat (10:20:41 PM): ehs guys are LAME guys
Kickitkris09 (10:20:54 PM): all guys are lame
Kickitkris09 (10:20:59 PM): I love syllogism
lexterthegreat (10:22:17 PM): therfore ehs guys are lame
lexterthegreat (10:22:24 PM): hmm. yes wonderful device
lexterthegreat (10:22:30 PM): therefore*
Kickitkris09 (10:22:41 PM): awwww
Kickitkris09 (10:22:44 PM): haha
lexterthegreat (10:23:15 PM): they all are mean ans nasty useless creatures..
Kickitkris09 (10:24:24 PM): agreed let's drink
lexterthegreat (10:24:35 PM): to that?
lexterthegreat (10:24:35 PM): ha
lexterthegreat (10:24:45 PM): are we talking hard drinks or no?
Kickitkris09 (10:24:59 PM): ummm white lightning
lexterthegreat (10:25:33 PM): huh?
lexterthegreat (10:25:39 PM): guessing thats stiff
Kickitkris09 (10:25:39 PM): southern comfort
Kickitkris09 (10:25:45 PM): whiskey girl
lexterthegreat (10:25:50 PM): oh dear
Kickitkris09 (10:25:53 PM): lmaoo
lexterthegreat (10:25:57 PM): girl knows already!
Kickitkris09 (10:26:07 PM): :D

Black and blue and red all over.

2009-02-08T03:33:00.000-05:00

My stance on a few things, or how things stand for me at this point in the semester. Be warned, much of this entry will not be in complete sentences.

Deal with it.

Let's start with one of the things that rules my life: lacrosse. In fact, let's quantify it.

Two hours on Thursday, two on Friday, three today and a game on Monday. That's about ten hours of playing time in five days, assuming that a game takes three hours.

At least one mile ran every practice, perhaps more since we no longer run on the track but instead around campus and at the park across the street. Approximately 4-5 miles ran. Figure 110 calories burned per mile, about 500 calories burned total, approximately one seventh of one pound.

One ankle brace, ubiquitous as it is. The result of said punishment and strain on a previously injured joint.

Too many bruises to count. Two on knees. Two on elbow/bicep area. One on right shin. Two on upper thigh. One on inner thigh. The ball seems to find all the places where my padding stops. Photos later.

A decision I made recently about lacrosse" I want to play in college at some level. It will most likely be at the club level, but at MIT the lacrosse team has had almost no experience. They are looking for a goalkeeper (me). It would be a great outlet, assuming I have enough timem assuming I get in.

But I am goalie and I should know that.

Don't mind this.

2009-02-04T20:35:00.000-05:00

This is just a running to-do list, since I hate writing things down.

-Math hw
-Government packet
-send transcripts with senior grades
-me encanta personal statement and recommendation
-financial aid
-IDOC
-2007 W2s
-buy right ankle brace
-ice left ankle (in progress)
-remind myself that ankle braces are NOT optional at this point
-count number of bruises from today's practice
-repair printer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-not freak out
-live.
-breathe
-and everything else I forgot.

Collegio

2009-02-02T20:39:00.000-05:00

Worcester Polytechnic Institute me acceptaron!

This is about everything.

2009-01-28T00:38:00.000-05:00

I'm writing in the dead of night. I'm at the end of sleep and my wits, boxed in with nowhere to turn except on my side and to the inside of my eyelids.

I.

Need.

Sleep.

I stayed up later than usual finishing several art history assignments, an outline and a take home test, but that was nothing compared to the majority of my day. School was hectic. It was club picture day. I went to school with no less than four shirts, a sweater, lacrosse clothing, and a pair of dress pants and heels for my Harvard interview. I won't write much about that except that I went well. Note to self: When asked to schedule an interview, do not do so on a busy day, but always suggest Barnes and Noble! We talked at length about our favorite books. I was in heaven. He suggested Wolzceski's A Brief History of Nothing and The Lightness of Being, which is essentially a dissertation that bashes string theory. I don't know how I feel that last one, but my feelings are so ephemeral these days.

Looked at Taylor Polynopmials for the first time since MITES. Epic fail. And I keep on thinking about how much easier Advanced Calculus would have been had I known even a fraction of what I do now. I am grateful for that class. While my performance wasn't exactly stellar, the class did renew my interest in mathematics, so much so that I'm now comfortable with my independent study material. Yayness.

Going to go update my other blog now. bye!

Syzygy.

2009-01-19T02:31:00.000-05:00

Syzygy is perhaps my favorite word of all time in any language. That's saying something; I know language.

Some background info from the ever-reliable, omnipresent Wikipedia! A syzygy (or just syzygy? Gahhh I need grammatical assistance!) is derived from the Latin word for conjunction, syzygia. It means many different things depending on what field it is used in. It is the name of the band. It is my future AIM screen name. It is some wierd mathematical concept that I don't feel like explianing. It is the alightnment of two or more celestial bodies in a straight line gravitational field. Across all areas of study, it represents unity, especially through coordination or alignment.

My mind is a syzygy, a unity of several wierd qualities, quirks, and personalities that cause even the most odd blog entries to devolve into a quest for truth or some other moral poppycock. But seriously, I think that I am unique in that I am not really, really good at one thing but rather decent at several, with a visible weakness in math but enough obsession with it (see my latest literary gem deemed worthy of my over-stuffed bookcases, ie God Created the Integers by Stephen Hawking). Devolution of the highest order.

I'm debating whether or not to promote this blog. The writing is just a collection of my random musings. I don't know.

I never know.

A bit more meaning.

2009-01-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

A bit more on my blog title.

Sagasse is the French word for "wisdom". I am no sage, but I'd like to think that my random virtual musings would have an impact on someone. At least, I hope, or all this blog boils down to is some late-night catharsis for my too-stressed life.

Thank you Jacob, fordeciding to follow my blog. Hopefully you'll get more out of this than "Lolcakes, look at Kristina, she is so crazy."

I should have studied tonight but Sea Scout matters had to be attended to. I was at the Panera Grill until 9:15PM. And of course, when I got home, I had to watch American Idol/Facebook/veg etc.

I wake up in 5 hours. Damn.

two posts in three days.

2009-01-13T12:41:00.000-05:00

So I hit enter without even writing anything. Typical.

I'm zoning. My interview starts at three.

To Do List:

-Silver Knights application and recommendation letter
-EcoGeeks correspondence and part 1
-Clean my room (but htis will be postponed)
-finish the Mayor of Casterbridge
-Study for government
-Make up government test
-prepare score for student-conductor piece
-find solo and ensemble pieces

College update:

MIT. Enough said.

But I do have a plan B. Shocking! U Chicago is my backup, fodder for my intellectual side.

I'm reading God Created the Integers by Stephen Hawking. He is a brilliant man. I wish I were that brilliant. Am I brilliant, I ask as my consiousness echoes a certain UChi prompt.

At present you must live the question.
Yeah, well, I'm living.

In other words.

2009-01-11T13:41:00.000-05:00

My posts have been sparse, I know. It seems like school has sucked me in yet again. More accomplishments, a loger resume, but at what cost? I am struggling to find the time to talk to Shadman, to talk to anyone, to be sane. Lacrosse is my best release right now. Nothing like chicking the ball as hard as I can at my least favorite attackman. Venting at it's finest.

I should be writing art history papers and studying for hthe two insane tests that I have tomorrow, or preparing for my interviews. And here I sit, idle for the sake of it, because I don't know where to begin. My thumb aches, the beginings of carpal tunnel thanks to the unhhealthy yet oh so good amount of lacrosse that tears away at my sleep level and quads.

Bracing for the future. I have sixty days left.

PWNED

2008-12-27T18:40:00.001-05:00

Kristina Lynn Lozoya
South Plantation High School
Common Application Essay
I run my fingers over the double-stitched cotton that makes up the length of my gi. Frayed threads and flecks of gray dot the heavy cloth that has bared the brunt of many a strike and blow, soaked up many a tear, covered the bloody nose that I got in my first tournament match. There are stories in these threads- tales of despair, of elation, of defeat and subsequent triumph that weave themselves into a multi-hued miasma as I slip on the top half of the gi. The James Bond theme song somehow finds its way into my head. I tie on my belt. I am a secret agent. I am invincible.
I take my place among the other candidates for second degree, at the front of the room, just to the left of the ranking instructor. The master of the dojo has come for this special occasion, for this rite of passage. He calls us to attention. We bow in respect, as those in our same position have done for centuries. The first exercise is always forms, sequences of movements that mimic real fighting. I work through them easily enough; twelve years of practice has prepared me well for this. My instructor glances over my work and gives it an approving nod. I pass muster.
I lace up my chest protector. Two inches of padding stand, a helmet, mouth guard, and shin guards stand between me and the lethal blows of every single black belt in the dojo. I cringe as I think of the resolute crrrrack that accompanies the broken bones that are all too possible in this endurance test. I must fight every single one of my peers and my instructors to pass. Nervously, I face my opponent, a wiry girl who has trained with me since my first day at the dojo. My secret persona is gone, washed away with the nervous sweat dripping from my forehead. And so the match begins.
Jab. Kick. Back fist. Blow for blow, we are evenly matched. My opponent lands a solid side kick in the center of my torso. Pain. Stars. Shock. I stagger back. Whispers of defeat grace my semi-delirious state of mind. And yet, I can’t give up. The theme song starts playing again. I rise again and knock my opponent unconscious with a roundhouse kick to the head. Adrenaline overwhelms me. Sweet, sweet victory.
Hours later, the test is over. Every match has been decided. Those who pass stand before the master. I am lucky to be among them. My name is called, and I rise to receive my rank. As I walk to my instructor, I remember the twelve years of trials and tribulations that brought me to that spot. The new rank is slipped around my waist and tied firmly. My instructor is saying something about the magnitude of the occasion, but I can’t concentrate. The theme song is playing in my head. I’ve bested my villain for the day. I am, after all, a secret agent.
Whenever I face a challenge in the academic arena, whether it be a test, a problem set, or an essay, I think back to that time. Nothing will ever be that difficult, so I think to myself, ‘You can do this Kristina,’ and the task is no longer insurmountable.

Update

2008-12-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

MIT Deferred.

Not exactly the biggest epi fail of my life...
but onto Plan B.

Which consists of the following:

-Haaavahhhhd
-Carnegie Mellon
-Cornell
-Johns Hopkins
-Worcester Polytechnic
-UCHiiiiiii

And I shall be happy.

So declareth the sophomoric prophet!

Six days and counting.

2008-12-09T02:50:00.000-05:00

Holy dear god. Six days until MIT decisions come out. I can't sleep. I can't think. I am numb. I am nervous. I am ready to see my dreams through to the end. My thoughts are so incoherent right now. Need to get to bed. Insanely busy week. GAHHHHHHHHHH.

*hides under blankets*

Pathetic and Epic much.

Ten More Days.

2008-12-05T19:16:00.000-05:00

Crazy isn't it? My life's work comes to affirmation in less than twenty days. My destiny will be decided. All other options are a distant, and may I emphasize DISTANT, second and third. Pins and needles don't even BEGIN to describe the amount of anxiety this decision continues to cause me.

Reading admissions blogs has becme as normal to me as, well, breathing. Keri G. from Ft. Lauderdale provides a candid voice from which I can observe the MIT campus from the perspective of a froshling from years past. I saw the giddy child running across Senior Haus a the first sign of snow, the burnt-out sophomore strruggling with an insane double major psetting the night away, the nostalgic junior reflecting on six semesters of the most insane and amazing intellectual experience on this earth.

Ten. more. days. I can't wait to be a part of the MIT legacy.

late night.

2008-12-01T00:03:00.000-05:00

Hair in pig tails and eyes wandering.
Sepia tones of innocence
Awash with happiness and passion.
A six year old's grin. Gray and white on a summer day.
She turns to the horizon, coloring the sky with dreams, wandering home.

mobile blogging. immobile heart.

2008-11-30T20:21:00.000-05:00

So I have lewned the intricacies of the blackberry keyboard, added a substantial amount of bengali to the SureType dictionary, and after two long days of figuring, found out how to work the instant messaging application. Thanksgiving went well, just a lot of repeated stories. Didn't anger anyone so I guess that's a plus?
Shadman asked me out on the twenty eighth of November and I couldn't be happier. I could write more but ut would be entrenched with bathos and sappy one-liners from the twilight series. I also finished the host and it cemented Stephanie meyers's spot as my favorite author of all time.

The weather outside is frightful. The fire in my heart is delightful. Two weeks until MIT decisions. Life is goooood =)

mobile blogging

2008-11-26T17:26:00.000-05:00

So my heart is beating again' over its misery and upon a new valley. I want you in the worst way. I can't wait to talk to you. You occupy my every thought. My heart jumps when you call. So soon and unexpected; I fell again.

This is where the fun begins.

2008-11-21T01:12:00.000-05:00

The scars we hide are deep
Personal wounds at the center of our being
Dressed up with gucci and prada
Scented over with Izzy and Boss
The envy of us all
Graffiti on the soul
Punctures in the spirit
They show themselves at the oddest times
As we gingerly bend over the ones we love
Removing our mantle to warm them -
And give them comfort
And then the head appears
As gorry and gruesome as we remember
Covered over with time
Yet the indentation is still there
It will not yield
No medicine or soothing balm can cleanse it
No bandage covers - save pricey threads
No one to mother away the pain
Except that one who see's the scars
And looks straight through them
To our heart and the better parts of our soul
One who traces their rigid outline slowly and sweetly
Commenting with a smile on the character they build
Erasing them with love
--DAC

the life academic.

2008-11-20T01:18:00.000-05:00

So I sit here., orrather, lay hereincontemplation What am I going to do withmy life? Howandwhenwill Ibetruly happy? And when is this stupid space button going to stop jamming? May be when I learn t stp using my laptop as a table top. Yeah right. When pigs fly.

Ihaven't been able to sleep these past few nights. All I can think about is random college stuff. My life is in suspended animation until the fifteenth of December. Oh lo that fateful day when the rest of my life isdecided....

Until then, I'mtalking to Shadman again. I swear, he has one ofthe most intriguing minds I have ever come across. He;s genuine, religious, and quite interesting. I'm looking foward to our future Bengali lessn

Just to put it out there.

2008-11-19T22:16:00.000-05:00

Nothing turns me on more than a linguist. NOTHING.

Late-night wanderings.

2008-11-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

I just finished my first homework marathon of the year.

Today certainly has been trying. Did some stupid things said some stupid things. Sent out things. I don't know. Not in the mood to write anymore.

Peacceee.

Meinn head!

2008-11-10T19:02:00.000-05:00

So my head is spinning,. Amidst the clamor of my mental inklings, I found some insane urge to write. But what is it really? Some primal compulsion to record my ramblings for all posterity, or simply the need for a creative outlet. Both seem equally possible. And yet, I go. Music carries me away...

earth shattering

2008-11-10T00:02:00.000-05:00

Today was about coming to terms. I realize that John and I will probably never get back together, and that friendship is possible. My long road to closure has (finally?) started. I'm reveling in my new singleness. I realize that I devoted way too much time to John, adn that i lost a lot of oppurtunites to hang with my true friends.

Amanda and I got a lot closer today through some IMs over facebook. We have a lot more in common than I thought.

And while this might seem premature, my heartstrings are being tugged anew. If only I could placate fate to bring me my knight in shining armor.

Faith is keeping me alive and happy. In what I believe, I have no idea. I just know that someone out there is watching out for me. Whoever you are, keep me in your warmth.

Stress, or just apathy?

2008-11-04T19:55:00.000-05:00

Yes, tonight history is being made. We will either stand united, or fall divided. Obama is my one hope for humanity. If he loses, I start my application to McGill university and Canadian citizenship.

Worked on some college applications, common app ones. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of work ahead of me. I STUPIDLY missed the deadline for the CoCa Cola scholarship and misplaced the application for Comcast. I have no homework. Psychology book, art history project, prepping for tomorrow's math lecture? Read Eragon? So many options.

Approximately 45 days until December 15th. I can only hold my breath until then.

Wishlist.

2008-10-26T11:49:00.000-04:00

I used Amazon for the first time today. Bought an oboe reed and a box of Vandorens for my clarinet. I can't wait to start playing!

FBA went as expected. Superior in marching and maneuvering, excellent in general effect, excellent and good in music, superior in auxilary. Excellent overall. I got really sick on the way back. Started vomiting. Better now but not the most pleasant memory.

Tons of work to do. Not looking forward to it. submitted UF application and waiting to hear about MIT interview. Over the whole brass deal.

Instruments I want to learn after the oboe:

-violin
-viola
-bassoon
-french horn

=)

And yes, they watch.

2008-10-21T23:27:00.000-04:00

I hate those moments where I feel like I'm about to snap. When my feelings get the better of me, I often dread the consequences. But then I ask myself, is the silence worth the false sense of camaraderie? No, it's not. Yes, I insulted him, threatened him with physical violence. lost every bit of my composure. And I don't regret it. Fuck what anyone else has to say. I've had my moment for the week.

It so wierd. I'm fighting to sit at the back of the bus. I thought Rosa Parks took care of this. Guess not. I can only lay here in wait with my telltale heart.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

2008-10-20T22:54:00.000-04:00

So I spoke with Kamal about the title of my blog.Apparently, sagasse is feminine in French. Sigh. I wish I had kept up with my fforeign languages as much as I keep up with physics these days. That just proves how temporary and flighting my interests are. I shun the thought of going to MIT and suddenly wantig to major in English amidst a change-of-heart spasmoda.

MIT app status: Done with everything. waiting for recs. Interview coming up in a week or so. Ranging somewhere between anxiety and apathy as I come close to the December 15th decision date. sent in MITES evals. Note: will shoot someone if recs are done incorrectly or late. OUT of my hands!

Status in general: Fed up with being the recurring headline for band gossip. I refuse to be mocked because I care. I refuse to let my band's standards of mediocrity worsen my pessimistic nature. I refuse to let something so trivial take up my time. Hell, already missed practice for debate and jazz band today because I was enjoying life and eating several cupcakes. Stuffing my face really doesn't justify or alieve my feeling of inadequacy. I feel inclined to pray at this point.

Good news! Mom voted for Obama! YES!

Time to get my tired, liberal, lacrosse-laden ass to bed.

House-keeping.

2008-10-19T12:36:00.000-04:00

Just setting up this blog right now. Got reallly tired of livejournal. Gave up on the myspace blog.

So a bit about myself...

My name is Kristina. I'm a senior in high school who has applied early action to MIT. I want to major in bioengineering and minor in linguistic studies. I'm too involved in school and I'd rather not go through it all. I'm excited and nerbous about college. Sixteen is too young to be making all of these decisions. For once, I'm feeling my age.